The emotional sufferings are much tougher to endure than any other physical wounds that I have ever experienced.
Maybe it was the lack of expression....maybe not. Maybe it was something else. Whatever it is, I know it is a question that I probably will never know the answer to. because I am too afraid to ask and too afraid to know.
Anyway, I wish you much happiness in all that you do. Always had and I always will.
Hui
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Graduation
Sorry readers (if I still have any),
I know the blog has been abandoned for quite a while, but this is a little update on my life in Arkansas. Life has been good but extremely tiring. I've been working on grad school applications, work, classes, and never ending tests. Why did I say never ending? You are right (if you actually bothered to guess), because it is never ending. bloody hell T.T. Minus the fall break, i have been taking tests continuously for about 7 weeks in a row. In fact, I just had one today, there will be one this Thursday and another next Friday. Oh yeah, study study study. i just hope this will pay off one fine day.
So, just to put on a little positive spin on the post, i will share a great news: I will be graduating on the 15th of December!! I have to admit that I am pretty excited! Each time I have thoughts about graduation, it feels like my heart skipped a bloody beat (the excitement is almost better than taking drugs I tell you...haha). I can't believe that it'll be my fourth year already. It seems like just two months ago that I bided goodbye to you guys and my family, boarded the plane, landed in the cow-farm, checked into a room. met my roommate, and attended my first day of college. Everything in between now and then is just foggy. what the hell just happened. don't ask. because i'm not sure. all i know is that school is about to be over, and it's time to move on with life. bloody SCARY
What am I going to do next? Well, the plan is to go back to school. HAHAHAHAHA
Silly as it sounds, it's really not that funny. because that really is the plan. why did I choose to go back to school? There's too many reasons. One of the reasons is because I don't wanna become a research assistant, or a high school teacher, or science writer etc. I mean these are decent jobs, but they are just not the kind of job i will be passionate about nor are they jobs that i want to spend half of my life on.
So, I am applying to get into a graduate school. Competition to get into graduate schools are definitely fierce. I'm sure it's not just here but anywhere else in the world. Being an international student sure doesn't help because most graduate schools have international quotas. To tell the truth, the idea of being back in school after graduation is not entirely bad news because I do enjoy science (at least for the most part). Plus, international kids here are given three options after graduation: It's either get a job, get into a school, or go home. I am not ready to leave the states, so one of the other two options is something I have to achieve.
If I have to choose to stay in a place for good, I would choose Malaysia. Without Malaysian politics, I think home is by far the best place on earth. However, there seems to be something about being away from home that lightens up my soul. I can't say exactly what. but it gives me a different feeling. maybe it is the sense of freedom, the independence, or just the excitement of exploring a foreign place. Whatever it is, I want more of it before returning to a place I call home.
Wish i could write more, but my laptop is running outta battery, pile of homework is waiting for me and my guilt to finish that pile of homework is rising by the minute. So, I will say goodbye for now. Sending my regards from Arkansas! Take care dear friends.
Hui
I know the blog has been abandoned for quite a while, but this is a little update on my life in Arkansas. Life has been good but extremely tiring. I've been working on grad school applications, work, classes, and never ending tests. Why did I say never ending? You are right (if you actually bothered to guess), because it is never ending. bloody hell T.T. Minus the fall break, i have been taking tests continuously for about 7 weeks in a row. In fact, I just had one today, there will be one this Thursday and another next Friday. Oh yeah, study study study. i just hope this will pay off one fine day.
So, just to put on a little positive spin on the post, i will share a great news: I will be graduating on the 15th of December!! I have to admit that I am pretty excited! Each time I have thoughts about graduation, it feels like my heart skipped a bloody beat (the excitement is almost better than taking drugs I tell you...haha). I can't believe that it'll be my fourth year already. It seems like just two months ago that I bided goodbye to you guys and my family, boarded the plane, landed in the cow-farm, checked into a room. met my roommate, and attended my first day of college. Everything in between now and then is just foggy. what the hell just happened. don't ask. because i'm not sure. all i know is that school is about to be over, and it's time to move on with life. bloody SCARY
What am I going to do next? Well, the plan is to go back to school. HAHAHAHAHA
Silly as it sounds, it's really not that funny. because that really is the plan. why did I choose to go back to school? There's too many reasons. One of the reasons is because I don't wanna become a research assistant, or a high school teacher, or science writer etc. I mean these are decent jobs, but they are just not the kind of job i will be passionate about nor are they jobs that i want to spend half of my life on.
So, I am applying to get into a graduate school. Competition to get into graduate schools are definitely fierce. I'm sure it's not just here but anywhere else in the world. Being an international student sure doesn't help because most graduate schools have international quotas. To tell the truth, the idea of being back in school after graduation is not entirely bad news because I do enjoy science (at least for the most part). Plus, international kids here are given three options after graduation: It's either get a job, get into a school, or go home. I am not ready to leave the states, so one of the other two options is something I have to achieve.
If I have to choose to stay in a place for good, I would choose Malaysia. Without Malaysian politics, I think home is by far the best place on earth. However, there seems to be something about being away from home that lightens up my soul. I can't say exactly what. but it gives me a different feeling. maybe it is the sense of freedom, the independence, or just the excitement of exploring a foreign place. Whatever it is, I want more of it before returning to a place I call home.
Wish i could write more, but my laptop is running outta battery, pile of homework is waiting for me and my guilt to finish that pile of homework is rising by the minute. So, I will say goodbye for now. Sending my regards from Arkansas! Take care dear friends.
Hui
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Life oh life!
Sometimes, I question if all these work are worth the time I put in? It seems like life has gotten pretty dull..it's either classes, homework, presentations, tests, or work every single day. AND yes, by every day I do mean the weekends too. It's making me exhausted! What happened to the life that was supposed to be joyful and awesome when people are young?
At 20 years old..i'm already feeling like a bunny that can't find a carrot. Wth. I have no idea where that came from. I'm just writing as the thought flows. So, please bear with me. I wish I can just throw AWAY the backpack filled with assignments, test grades and burdens, and RUNAWAY and live a carefree life. Yeah, like abandoning the rest of the world and move to live in the mountains of some foreign land or a tree house or whatever. Anything is better than the four-walls in the room or library. hmmm mmm it is wishful thinking. But I guess there's no harm in letting your imagination run.
OKAY enough of these. Why am I ranting here anywayy..gotta get things done. and get out here for some fun.It's no fun being gloomy! Ciao peeps. Sorry for the pessimistic post! Sending the love to you guys in australia and malaysia! Take care.
Hui
At 20 years old..i'm already feeling like a bunny that can't find a carrot. Wth. I have no idea where that came from. I'm just writing as the thought flows. So, please bear with me. I wish I can just throw AWAY the backpack filled with assignments, test grades and burdens, and RUNAWAY and live a carefree life. Yeah, like abandoning the rest of the world and move to live in the mountains of some foreign land or a tree house or whatever. Anything is better than the four-walls in the room or library. hmmm mmm it is wishful thinking. But I guess there's no harm in letting your imagination run.
OKAY enough of these. Why am I ranting here anywayy..gotta get things done. and get out here for some fun.It's no fun being gloomy! Ciao peeps. Sorry for the pessimistic post! Sending the love to you guys in australia and malaysia! Take care.
Hui
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Pohness 21st!
To the pohness that I have known since secondary 1? or 2? haha I don't remember, it sure is a very long time ago. I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope you'll learn plenty in melbourne. Learn to do crappy laundry, cooking, diving, meeting the koala bears, jumping off cliffs and all the good stuff you can think about OK? Enjoy your time there and remember to keep your smile always. Best wishes.
Keep in touch,
Hui
Keep in touch,
Hui
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Spring 2010
Life is supposed to be extremely hectic at the moment, but it's not. Why? Because I decided not to take things too seriously. I have been on the relaxing track ever since school started. Been out of the house every night for volleyball games and been hanging out with friends for quite a bit. Work is taking up my time too. not to mentioned facebook. damnit! feeling kinda guilty at the moment. The call to mum didn't help make me feel better.
Talking to her always seems kinda pressuring. the way she expressed her hidden expectations of me is killing me. I don't want to live up to her standards. She has her chance to live up to her OWN standard and, this is my chance to live up to mine.
Whatever it is, I need to straighten up soon, before all the good opportunities go down the drain.
Things to do:
1. Crappy pile of Homework
2. Internship applications
3. Study for Mcat
4. Take the Mcat
5. Look up future schools
Gosh. Gotta go. =.=
Catch up with you guys on msn.
Take care.
kan hui
Talking to her always seems kinda pressuring. the way she expressed her hidden expectations of me is killing me. I don't want to live up to her standards. She has her chance to live up to her OWN standard and, this is my chance to live up to mine.
Whatever it is, I need to straighten up soon, before all the good opportunities go down the drain.
Things to do:
1. Crappy pile of Homework
2. Internship applications
3. Study for Mcat
4. Take the Mcat
5. Look up future schools
Gosh. Gotta go. =.=
Catch up with you guys on msn.
Take care.
kan hui
Sunday, January 17, 2010
New semester ahead!
HELLO! Winter's break is about to come to an end. 2 more days of good comfort and rest, and I'll have to drag my feet to classes again. T.T The holidays has been one of the best, because it was exactly what i wanted to do..relax, watch movies, visit places, catch up with friends and of course, my favorite part! SLEEEP!!!!! ZZZZzzzZZ. oH gosh, it's unbelievable that I can sleep so much.:D Feels good!
There's a whole list of things I need to get done before school starts:
1) Laundry
2) Wash car (Initial color was black, my roomie said it now looks like it's white)
3) Clean room
4) Buy notebooks
5) Buy textbooks
6) Set goals for the sem.
7) Visit a friend
8) Sell used textbooks
Yeah, that's pretty much it. This semester is going to be one of the busiest! I hope I can get through it just as well without missing out all the fun and abandoning my social life. Alright laundry time! Take care friends!
Hui
There's a whole list of things I need to get done before school starts:
1) Laundry
2) Wash car (Initial color was black, my roomie said it now looks like it's white)
3) Clean room
4) Buy notebooks
5) Buy textbooks
6) Set goals for the sem.
7) Visit a friend
8) Sell used textbooks
Yeah, that's pretty much it. This semester is going to be one of the busiest! I hope I can get through it just as well without missing out all the fun and abandoning my social life. Alright laundry time! Take care friends!
Hui
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